We Gave It All

Did you know?

Among the girls I ever dated, you’re the hard one.

To me, you’re complicated. You’re not simple at all.

You’re very difficult to me.

And you’re not even my ideal girl.

But strangely, I could not resist you.

Just like the drugs, I’m addicted to you.

And like the magnets, you stick to me.

You’re really hard for me.

To have you, my pride is on the line.

I lost my ego. And even myself.

Thinking of losing you makes me crazy.

Missing you is something that I need to bear sometimes.

However, I knew. . . I’m not easy for you.

I broke your heart over and over again.

I left you at the time when you really need me the most.

I’m sorry. . .

For breaking all the promises I gave to you.

For being the one who gave you those tears.

For giving you too much pain.

For keep saying sorry when I knew I will keep giving you pain.

Sadly, I wish for you to have faith on me.

Stick to me, just like the magnets.

Never “repel” me away.

`Cause I would never let you go.

I would never make any promises as I might break them.

I could not say “I will” as I might not and only give you tears and pain.

But one thing for sure,

The “happily-ever-after” will eventually come to us.

* * * * * *

I love you the most as I think I might die without you.

However, I denied it all.

How could I become so numb?

I asked you to leave when what I want is for you to stay.

I yelled, “why are you even here?!” when I felt so happy that you came.

I said I don’t need anyone when the person I really need is you.

I cried I don’t love you and regretting it now. . .

* * * * * *

A few days ago, you’re my girl.

And a few days later, I wish I had you.

You hoped that I could change.

You gave me many chances to stay.

But I waste it all.

I should have changed.

I should have stayed.

I should have realized.

Life without you is not the same.

* * * * * *

“I was over everything.”

“I thought I took care of it all, one by one.”

Something must have gotten into my eyes,

That’s why tears keep falling,

Hidden safely in one part of my heart,

The tears are bringing that person back,

Even if you can’t hear me,

Even if you can’t hear my heart,

Maybe someday you’ll listen to my heart,

What my tears are saying.

“I’m not over you at all.”

Because you’re mine,

Because you’re my love,

Even if I keep sending you away,

You’re still here, making me cry.

Because you’re my love,

You’re still the one.

I can’t stop these foolish tears.

* * * * * *

(calling the girl) Where are you? I have been here for hours.

I’m sorry. I don’t think I will come.

What?

For me, until this time it has been as far as I can go. I want to wake up and had everything as it has before.

I’m waiting for you to come. I don’t care if I have to. . .

Why are you like this? If you’re just playing, thank you. I have had enough of your game. I have gone through so much and learnt a lot just to live. You probably don’t need to worry about anything since you’re born with silver spoon in your mouth, but I’m not like you. What are you going to do if I really try to get you? So please. Stop now. (hung up the phone)

I’m ready to lose anything and faced everything. You just need to take my hand and come with me.

* * * * * *

You’re joking right? There’s no way . . . that you would like me. There’s no way right?

(sigh) I’m really going crazy!

Perhaps you have feelings for me??? Do you . . . like me?

That’s why I’m going crazy! How am I supposed to do when I think . . . I have feelings for you?

You like me, don’t you?

Yes! I like you . . .

(speechless)

I like you . . . And I think I am crazy for falling for you . . . You! You’re ugly and have bad mannered! You don’t even act like a girl!

(pissed off) Yes! I’m ugly! I have bad manners! I don’t act like I’m a girl! So why did you like me?!

I . . . don’t know . . . That’s why I think I’m losing my sanity!

(sigh) I hope you regain your sanity as soon as possible . . . (walk away)

(following her steps) What about you?! Do you like me?

(stopped and sigh) I don’t have feelings for you . . .

Why???

First of all . . .

What?! There’s a number two?!

You’re so childish! You acted like a six-year-old child! You do things as you wish and never cares for others feeling! You always talked down to other people and think that you’re so almighty!

Did I???

Two! You’re from the conglomerate family! I didn’t wish to mess up with any guy from such family! I’m happy living the way I’m living now! Don’t you ever think what will happen to me if we are getting together? I would be killed because of your status! You and I . . . there’s a big gap between us!

You’re exaggerating . . .

I’m not! I’m just thinking further! And you’re just thinking about yourself! Third! I like you . . . I really, really like you . . . But in professional way. . . I can’t have any further feelings for you . . . I can’t have you in my heart . . .

(loss of words)

To sum it all up, I am really sorry . . . I can’t accept your heart.

No. I won’t take these answers. (leaving the girl)

(getting annoyed) Why?!

(turned around) Does it not worth trying? Does it trouble you so much? Does my love gives you pain?

Yes! I’m in pain! My head hurts! It hurts me so much that I think it might explode! And it does trouble me so much! It’s not worth trying when you know you’ll only get hurt in the end! Your feeling is a problem to me! I can’t let this thing happen to me! Please wake up! Spare me a life!

Please reconsider my feelings . . . I can’t take it if you just throw my heart without thinking twice . . . You just think about this again . . . calmly.

Are you really going to be like this? If you’re acting in this way, I think I can’t work with you.

Then, how am I supposed to act? Having one-sided love is very painful to me. I never felt this way before.

Go back and have a good sleep. In the morning you will realize that this thing is just a mistake made by the heart and regret it soon after you regain your sanity. I’m letting you pass me while you still have the chance.

I’ll get going. You should go in. I’ll see you tomorrow. (smiled) Have a good sleep! I . . . I won’t waver! I really like you! And I will make you reconsider my feelings! (running away)

(sigh) What am I going to do??? He really likes me . . .

How much does it pains to have a love like this?

* * * * * *

Are you okay?

(startled) I’m okay . . . I’m okay . . .Just pretend like you didn’t see me . . .

Are you crying?

No, I’m not . . . I better go.

What’s wrong? Tell me . . . I might not be so helpful . . . but I’ll try my best.

They said things will just slide if we pretend it does not happen. I . . . I tried to think in that way . . . but it won’t disappear. My head keeps thinking about it . . .and . . . and it hurts me. (stuttering)

(staring at the girl)

(tears coming out) I don’t know why . . . but these stupid tears keep coming out . . . What can I do to stop these?

Crying relieved the stress . . .

(tears keep falling)

But sometimes this is more needed . . . (hugging the girl)

(crying out loud)

Don’t smile when you know you’re about to cry.

I’m going to take it back . . .

(patting her back)

I’m really going to take it back . . .

(bitter smile)

I’m going to take back what I had said about never liking him. I’m really going to take it back . . .

You like him right?

(nodding) I like him . . . But now I could never say this to him. He said he’ll forget about me . . . Loving me is very hard for him. Knowing this makes my heart pains.

Just tell him.

How could I do that? I felt so ashamed.

I like you. I said that I will never like you but I lied. I lied when I said I don’t want to be with you.  I lied when I said my heart never fluttered when I see you. It’s all lies. What I really felt is I get jealous when you laugh or cries because of other guy. I felt sad when you left me behind. Knowing you make me learnt what love really is. Loving you makes me feel how pain it is when loving someone that does not have eyes on you.

What . . . do you mean? (sobbing)

Say something like this to him. Let him know. At least you won’t have any regret later.

Thank you . . . You have been so helpful.

I have a shoulder to cry on.

May I ask you something?

Yeah. Ask me.

Do you ever feel this kind of love?

I feel it right now. (smile)

* * * * * *

You’re wandering around me and told me that you love me. One day, things change. You left. Since you have told me everything and left, let me be honest to you.

Huh?

I’ll tell you everything and leave.

(staring at the guy)

Honestly, my heart fluttered a lot when I see you. It pounds like crazy when you’re with me. The butterflies are all over my stomach. With you, everything feels so good. I encouraged myself to take one more step closer to you. But then you told me everything is gone. I was taken aback when you said you don’t love me anymore. Luckily, you left first before I could get any closer.

(stuttering) You . . . love me?

I could get hurt if I keep walking to you. I’m glad that you . . . left. Thank you for letting me knows that nothing will happen in the end. I have told you everything and I will leave.

Do you know why I left?

Why?

`Cause I thought I don’t love you anymore. The heart seems to stop beating for you. But now, it’s losing its pace.

* * * * * *